Then there's Pennsylvania's Senator Toomey,

Whose stand on women's health is down right loony.

We are turning him out,

Like that Santorum lout.

It's early retirement! Why so gloomy?

There's this Senator Pat Toomey from 'Pea Ay'.

With whom the right-wing holds a powerful sway.

His views on abortion

Are out of proportion.

So, on November eighth, he's going away.

Cruz needed a Veep with a fanny

To counter that liberal granny.

However, in this race,

To appeal to the base,

You must be sure she's not a tranny!

      So Carly is the Cruz campaign pick.

      Guess there was a mandate for a chick.

      But what makes my head swirl,

      Is that, though she's a girl,

      She's still an insufferable prick.

Apparently Jeb has a 'thing' about Asians

Thus provoking wailing and lamentations.

But he loves all things Hispanic,

Which causes the 'base' to panic.

Better stick to what he knows—Caucasians!

Then there are the two brothers name of Koch

Getting rich issuing cancerous smoke.

Sons of John Birch:

The poor, they besmirch

And the ninety-nine per cent, they provoke.

Candidates want a wall of bricks and boards

To keep out the rapists and the drug lords.

But Jeb sounds the alarm

Of a far greater harm:

The potential danger of Mongol Hordes! 

FOX News' Mr. Ailes, we have you to thank

For putting together tomorrow's 'think tank'.

Now how shall I prepare

For the truths I will hear?

I know; I believe I'll have another wank!

The Republican candidate clown car:

The most over crowded ever--by far

Is it sardonic

Or just ironic,

To note that the occupants are sub-par?

There are enough candidates to form a herd.

Right-wing thinking required, not just preferred.

I cannot wait

for the debate,

To find out who will emerge 'number one' turd.

As the candidates continue to enlist,

The roster looks more and more like the 'D-List'.

If you thought Trump was bad,

The latest's really sad.

It's Bobby Jindal, the noted exorcist*! 

*link

Remember: great wealth does not equal class.

The richest can be especially crass.

A prime example,

That human pimple

Donald Trump—truly a consummate ass.

Santorum of Pennsylvania

Driven by some egomania

Seeks higher goals

Despite lousy polls.

Let's hope he's circling the drainia.

At science, Santorum is simply a boob.

He panders in person, and on the tube.

But, on contraception

He got poor reception

And his name will forever be covered with lube.

It looks like Carly has entered the race.

With Marco, Rand, and Ted setting the pace.

Republicans bent

On that great big tent.

So there's always room for a razor face.

Say, what is the latest news on Donald Trump?

Into the White House primary race, will he jump?

Just thinking of that man,

While sitting  on this can,

Sure eases the effort of dropping a dump!

'President Perry': hasn't a noble ring.

What to the table could he possibly bring?

All hair and bluster

And easy to fluster.

"Please do tell me Rick, just what was that third thing?"

Being obsessed with the perfect selfie

Using tax money to appear wealthy

It should seem clear,

For a career,

Such behaviour can never be healthy.

Who is behind this new nefarious push

To saddle the country with another Bush?

And if Jeb runs

Spread wide your buns

Because it's a boot up America's tush.