There are enough candidates to form a herd.

Right-wing thinking required, not just preferred.

I cannot wait

for the debate,

To find out who will emerge 'number one' turd.

As the candidates continue to enlist,

The roster looks more and more like the 'D-List'.

If you thought Trump was bad,

The latest's really sad.

It's Bobby Jindal, the noted exorcist*! 

*link

Remember: great wealth does not equal class.

The richest can be especially crass.

A prime example,

That human pimple

Donald Trump—truly a consummate ass.

Santorum of Pennsylvania

Driven by some egomania

Seeks higher goals

Despite lousy polls.

Let's hope he's circling the drainia.

At science, Santorum is simply a boob.

He panders in person, and on the tube.

But, on contraception

He got poor reception

And his name will forever be covered with lube.

It looks like Carly has entered the race.

With Marco, Rand, and Ted setting the pace.

Republicans bent

On that great big tent.

So there's always room for a razor face.